Well, Shit. I Started a Blog.

I've made some questionable decisions before, but this one takes the cake.  

I've officially started a blog.  

Apparently, people don't always appreciate hearing my lack of delicate sensibilities out loud.  So, having this amazing wit, my gloriously sarcastic observations and wildly inappropriate thoughts that - typically - I say out loud.... is just not enough! 

Now, we have this fucking website to release them into the world. 

What could possibly go wrong?

Welcome to Wren's Unsolicited Thoughts, where the filter is broken, the humor is occasionally inappropriate, and bullshit tolerance?  Nonexistent.

Before we go any further, there are a few things you should know. 

I have opinions - lots of them.  Some are thoughtful and insightful.  Others probably should have stayed between me and the shampoo bottles in the shower.  

I have a dark sense of humor.  Not because I don't take life seriously, but because sometimes life is such an unbelievable shitshow that laughing is the only reasonable alternative to committing a felony or three.  

And I have stories.  

Oh, do I have stories.

Some are true. Some are fiction.  Some are inspired by real life but have been lovingly rearranged to protect the identities of people who should probably be grateful I'm not using their full government names.  

You're welcome, assholes.

But here's the thing. 

Underneath all the sarcasm and wildly inappropriate commentary, there's a reason I'm doing this. 

Life isn't always pretty.  Relationships can be, and often are, complicated.  People can be cruel.  Sometimes the ones who are supposed to love us the most are the ones who leave us questioning our own sanity.

And sometimes we find ourselves sitting quietly with thoughts we don't dare say out loud.  

Fuck that.

I want this to be a place where we can laugh at the ridiculous, talk about the uncomfortable, and acknowledge the things people would rather sweep under the rug.  

We'll have funny stories.  Messy stories.  Probably a few stories that make you clutch your pearls. 

If you own pearls, you may want to secure them now. 

I won't always be polite.  I won't always be appropriate.  And I certainly won't pretend everything is sunshine, rainbows, and inspirational throw pillows.  

But I will try to be honest. 

And when things get serious, I promise there's a heart underneath all this smartassery. 

So welcome.  

Pull up a chair. Pour yourself something delicious.  Loosen your expectations.  

This could get wildly inappropriate. 

And frankly?  It's about damn time. 

-Wren Merritt